“Don’t open your Christmas card until I tell you what’s on my mind.” I passed out a card to each of the 12 members of the family. I wondered how they would react when they opened them.
The family sat quietly holding the cards.
“Your dad and I have an expiration date. We don’t have many more years of shelf life left, but we have plenty of food in the pantry: knowledge, wisdom, understanding and how to live successfully in this life.”
I had their attention. I unashamedly said, “Each of you are getting the same amount of money in your envelope. I’m asking you to take us to lunch and spend the afternoon with us. Your gift will be well spent.”
I looked around the room, expecting their eyes to roll, a snide remark, and a lot of, “Oh, Mother. It’s always about you.” This is one of those moments when someone would say, “Throw mother from the train, a kiss, a kiss.” Then the family would laugh and another would say, “I think it’s time for Shady Pines.”
Shocked and pleasantly surprised by their speechless reaction, I waited. Maybe it was the near-fatal accident when we all realized by God’s goodness we are still here. Nothing was said. Maybe it was because they were holding their gift and didn’t know the amount of money inside.
I continued, “You will regret it after it’s too late if you don’t spend time with us. We don’t care where you take us. A couple of hours some afternoon where we can talk. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on a spread blanket by a stream, or a picnic table in the park, anything will be wonderful. It doesn’t matter. You pick the spot and you make the plans. I’m not initiating this time.”
Still holding the sealed envelopes, they waited.
I was building my case. “Your dad and I are quite interesting and we laugh easily. We can talk football with you. We know the latest stats with our favorite teams and players. We can talk current news, Bible or Jesus. I’ve read some interesting books and my Sweet Al keeps up with the People’s Magazine each week. He knows who’s marrying who, who is on their third divorce and who’s in rehab.”
I finished. “OK, you can open your envelopes. It’s not much, just a little pocket money.” I threw in an example. “Last year, one of the most important moments of my life, Creede wanted to spend the day with me. We had read the same book, ‘Boys in the Boat.’ He drove me to the movie in Durango and we compared our notes about the movie and the book. Creede and I speak on deep-hearted subjects. Afterward, he introduced me to a wonderful place where they serve the best pizza ever. I listened to his ideas about his career and his walk with the Lord.”
One year ago, in one of my articles in The Pagosa SUN, I wrote, “Will they cry for me after I’m gone?” “I want to be enjoyable to my children so they don’t see my Sweet Al and me as a burden. I want them to know more about us, listen to our stories, glean from our faith in God and find us fun to be with. A strong relationship with each of my family members is what I want to leave behind. I believe it will give them an anchor to hold firm and know who they are and where they come from.”
Spencer was the first to react. He brought out his podcast equipment and set it up. He cleared the room so we had total silence. “I want to interview you and Granddad.” When we were all seated, he said, “Tell me how you first met. Granddad, tell me when you fell in love, and how did you know it was love? What are some of your favorite hunting stories?”
“Grandma, I heard you sold fake art and you were going to prison. Did you really sell fake art?”
“Yes, I did. And, no, I didn’t go to prison. It’s a long story.”
After we finished, Spencer said, “Thank you. I wanted to preserve your voices for my nephew and niece.”
My grandchildren are in their 20s and early 30s. They are all struggling to have careers, two are married, two are waiting for the right girl to come along. They are consumed by life itself. I was once in my 20s and I thought life would wait for me. My whole family has passed on and I only have bits and pieces of my history. I had no idea what my mother was thinking and she would probably be too embarrassed to speak on heart things. Who knows?
Final brushstroke: I’m looking forward to a few luncheon dates and get-to-know-you kind of talk this next year. It will be interesting to see who will step up and who has already forgotten my request.
Reader comments
“Stay True to Yourself. I love your article. So precious! And it’s true we can still stay true to ourselves even with a little influx from time to time. Pagosa truly has been able to keep her charm through the ages. And we do change and grow as humans, thankfully. I like how your style gives way to grace and it reminds me of aging gracefully. And although we were never meant to suffer, grow old, and die when we know God’s purpose for us as human beings we can still joyfully endure the influx til He brings an end to the wickedness and ushers in the brightness. Thank you, Big Christian Love, Michelle H. Pagsosa Springs”
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