This year our family found itself in a new place, working together with love and respect for the good of the whole. We’ve always stayed tight-knit, but, in 2024, we faced a different kind of trauma that deepened the way we appreciated and supported each other.
Each family member, doing their part, gave extra energy and kindness to two old people, impaired, slowly healing, but aging and needing extra attention — a lot to deal with.
The automobile accident last August happened to us all — everyone relied on each other for help to keep the wheels moving. Synergy comes to mind. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” expressing the basic meaning of synergy.
Synergy became a trendy buzzword in the 1990s. The same word — “work together” — became popular in Paul’s letter to the Romans in AD 57. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God …” (Romans 8:28a, NKJV).
My Sweet Al said, “You have prolonged this accident long enough, and it keeps going on and on. Will you ever be back to normal?”
My response: “Wow. Not sure, but I’m better for it. Every day means taking another baby step or two. I see the bigger picture. There are things I need to learn even at this time of life.”
Today, when I see someone limping in the parking lot of Walmart, I have a respect for them and what they are going through. I pray for them. I know they’re hurting just like I’m hurting. I didn’t do that before.
I asked the Lord, “Why didn’t I learn to have mercy and compassion years ago?”
The answer: It wasn’t time and you weren’t ready, and neither were others prepared to go through this ordeal. It’s been a state of synergy for everyone in your family. Whatever’s lacking has been gained.
A new respect for each other’s strengths and even for weaknesses came to the forefront. They have shown love toward Al and me as they have learned how to fit and work together with their siblings in this new place.
God allowed this accident to happen because He loves us. It’s been a lesson for all of us. This trauma wasn’t a bad thing, which worked and is working for good in every aspect of our lives.
Our children were indirectly affected by this crash and, one year later, they are still stepping up to our needs. They changed their work schedules to be available for us — they’ve driven us to doctor’s appointments and physical therapy, shopped and cooked meals, washed and dried our clothes, picked up prescriptions, and rushed us to the emergency room several times.
We’ve all gained, but in different ways. Our family changed emotionally and spiritually with a new respect for each other.
When I read a statement saying “respect is love,” I immediately fastened my mind to the scripture that says, “So husbands ought to love their own wives … and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:25, 33, NKJV).
I’ve always questioned those two words, respect and love, used together in a relationship. Shouldn’t it be love and be loved? But love and respect work together in a synergistic way. Each is used for the better of the whole.
We are all different and yet the same event was working in each of us for our individual purpose and for His purpose in us.
“…to those who are the called according to His purpose” — Romans 8:28b (NKJV).
Final brushstroke: When Al said this accident is going on and on, I know there is still much to learn among us. But, we are all being completed as we work together.
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