Now that the golf season is in full swing, I thought it might be appropriate to relate some golf history and provide a simple golf lesson.
First of all, the word golf comes from Scotland, where the game originally started. The game was originally intended for men only, hence, at the first golf course a sign was posted as “Gentlemen Only-Ladies Forbidden” from which the word golf was derived.
As for me, I never really got interested in the game, probably because my dad, who was a very good amateur golfer, had me carry his golf bag in the hot California sun while he just carried a single club. Being a pretty good amateur golfer, he won a lot of golf balls, sweaters, shirts, jackets and, once in awhile, a golf club or golf bag.
Of course, Dad had many golf stories to tell, such as the time when we were playing with my Uncle Carl. It seems a bird took off without filing a flight plan and its flight path crossed right in front of the flight path for my uncle’s ball. Unfortunately, the result was a midair collision, resulting in a debris field of feathers you would not believe.
One of Dad’s favorite stories was when he was about 16 or 17 he got a job in Benton Harbor, Mich., at a small, out-of-the-way golf course. About every two weeks, Al Capone and four of his henchmen would show up for a round of golf. They would go in the clubhouse and all of them would buy new equipment- balls, clubs and bags, except one man would only buy a bag, into which he would slip a Tommy gun. Once they had finished playing, the men would drop all of their newly purchased equipment on the lawn in front of the clubhouse and the owner would retrieve it and re-sell it.
The next time Capone and his gang showed up, they would again buy all new equipment, and when they were finished, leave it on the lawn again.
One hot day the guy carrying the Tommy gun asked my dad to hold his tie for him. Of course, when they left for the day, the man forgot to pick up his tie, so my dad just kept as a souvenir. The next time Capone and his gang showed up, the guy with Tommy gun asked my dad if he still had the tie. Of course, Dad said he did and it was in his dorm room. The man said it was a birthday present from his mother and would my dad mind giving it back after the game. Needless to say, Dad was not going to argue with guy and returned the tie, for which he received a $20 bill. When you’re working for 50 cents an hour, a $20 bill is a lot of money.
Golfing seemed to run in the family. My mother also played and managed to get two holes-in-one. Speaking of holes-in-one, I heard about a guy who cheated so much that when he got a hole-in-one, he marked down as zero.
My dad’s older brother, Ade, was a professional golfer, and even placed second in a Michigan state golf tournament one year. Uncle Ade owned a golf driving range in Grand Rapids and also gave golf lessons. Whenever President Gerald Ford came home to Grand Rapids, he would run over to see my uncle for a golf lesson.
Speaking of golf lessons, my uncle sent me the following simple golf lesson that anyone can follow:
Everyone can learn to play golf. Once a player has mastered the grip and stance, all he has to bear in mind, in the brief two-second interval it takes to swing, is to keep his left elbow pointed in toward the left hip and his right arm loose and closer to the body than the left, and take the club head past his right knee, and then break the wrists at just the right instant while the left arm is still traveling straight back from the ball and the right arm stays glued to the body, and the hips come around in a perfect circle, and meanwhile everything is messed up unless the weight is 60 percent on the left foot and 40 percent on the right — not an ounce more or an ounce less — and at just the right point in the turn the left knee bends in toward the right in a dragging motion until the left heel comes off the ground, but not too far, and be sure the hands are over the right foot, but not on the toe more than the heel, except that the left side of the right foot is tilted off the ground, but not too far, and be sure the hands at the top of the swing are high and the shaft points along a line parallel with the ground, and if it’s a downhill lie the shaft is supposed to be pointed downhill, too, and pause at the top of the swing and count one, jerk the left arm straight down like a bell ringer yanking a belfry rope, and don’t un-cock the wrists too soon and pull the left hip around in a circle, but do let the shoulders turn with the hips, they have to be facing the hole, and now transfer the weight of 60 percent to the left foot and 40 percent to the right — not an ounce more or an ounce less — and tilt the left foot so now the right side of it is straight— that’s the one you hit against — and watch out for the left hand, it’s supposed to be extended- but not too stiff or the shot won’t go anywhere — and don’t let it get loose or you will hook — and let the wrists un-cock — but don’t force them or you’ll smother the shot — and don’t break too soon but keep your head down- then hit the ball.
That’s all there is to it.
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