January is Stalking Awareness Month, a time to shed light on a crime that is often misunderstood, minimized or mischaracterized as romantic persistence. In reality, stalking is a serious, dangerous form of abuse that frequently intersects with dating violence, domestic violence and sexual assault — often serving as a warning sign of escalating harm.
Stalking is defined as a pattern of unwanted, fixated or obsessive behavior that causes fear or distress. It can include repeated texts or calls, monitoring someone’s movements, showing up uninvited, tracking through apps or social media, sending unwanted gifts, spreading rumors or threatening harm.
While popular culture may frame these behaviors as signs of passion, research and survivor experiences tell a very different story.
Stalking is especially prevalent in dating relationships, particularly among teens and young adults.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that a significant percentage of people who experience stalking are stalked by a current or former intimate partner. In early relationships, stalking behaviors are often dismissed as jealousy, protectiveness or intense interest. Survivors may hear phrases like, “They just care too much,” or “That’s how relationships are.”
But stalking is not about love — it is about control, obsession and intimidation.
In dating relationships, stalking often overlaps with digital abuse. Constant demands to share passwords, location tracking without consent, monitoring online activity or punishing someone for interacting with others are all red flags. These behaviors can quickly escalate into emotional abuse, threats, physical violence or sexual coercion.
Stalking rarely exists in isolation. It is strongly connected to domestic violence and sexual assault, both as a tactic used during an abusive relationship and as a method of maintaining control after a relationship ends. Survivors who leave abusive partners are particularly vulnerable; separation is often the most dangerous time.
Perpetrators may use stalking to intimidate, punish or reassert power — showing up at work, following survivors to court, contacting friends and family or using children as leverage. In cases of sexual assault, stalking may precede the assault as a form of targeting, or follow it as retaliation for disclosure or refusal.
Importantly, stalking is one of the strongest predictors of intimate partner homicide. Many domestic violence homicide cases reveal a history of stalking behaviors that were overlooked or not taken seriously.
One of the challenges in addressing stalking is that individual behaviors may seem harmless on their own. A single text message or unexpected appearance may not raise alarms. It is the pattern — the repetition, the lack of consent and the fear it creates — that defines stalking.
Survivors often minimize their experiences, especially when the stalker is someone they once cared about. Survivors often begin to doubt their own reality. Repeated minimization, denial and manipulation by the person stalking them can lead survivors to feel “crazy,” question if they are overreacting or blame themselves for the behavior. This psychological gaslighting can make it even harder for survivors to name the abuse and seek help.
Stalking Awareness Month calls on communities to move beyond awareness and toward action. That means believing survivors and taking their concerns of stalking seriously.
If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking, help is available. Rise Above Violence can assist with safety planning, protection orders and emotional support. Call our 24/7 helpline at (970) 264-9075 for additional information or to make an appointment with a confidential advocate. Visit the National Stalking Awareness Month website, www.stalkingawareness.org, to learn more.
Stalking is not a misunderstanding. It is not romance gone wrong. It is a serious form of abuse with potentially lethal consequences. This January — and all year long — we must name it, challenge it and stand with survivors.
Everyone deserves relationships rooted in respect, not fear.
>