As Stalking Awareness Month continues, understanding the reality of stalking — especially in the context of dating relationships, domestic violence and sexual assault — is more important than ever.
Stalking isn’t just the plot of a thriller movie; it’s a lived experience for millions of people in the United States and often a precursor to more severe violence.
Stalking is widespread. In the U.S., millions of people are stalked each year, and many more live with the effects of stalking over a longer period. According to federal data, about 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men report having been stalked at some point in their lives. Women are stalked at more than twice the rate of men overall.
Most victims know their stalker. Intimate partners or ex-partners account for a significant portion of stalking cases, especially for women; two-thirds of female victims are stalked by current or former intimate partners.
Stalking isn’t a single act — it’s a pattern of repeated, unwanted behaviors that create fear, distress or a pervasive sense of being watched.
Typical stalking behaviors include:
• Unwanted contact, including repeated calls, texts, social media messages or letters.
• Following or watching someone in person or through digital means like GPS tracking or spyware.
• Showing up uninvited at someone’s home, workplace or social spaces.
• Leaving unwanted gifts, notes or threatening items.
• Monitoring online activity or demanding constant updates about location and interactions.
Nearly half of stalking victims report unwanted contact at least once per week, and some are stalked for years.
These behaviors may appear “small” in isolation — just one text, one unexpected appearance — but when repeated over time and without consent, they establish a climate of fear and control.
Stalking isn’t just about physical proximity. Its impact is deeply emotional and psychological. Victims commonly describe:
• Persistent anxiety, constantly scanning for the stalker or anticipating contact.
• Hypervigilance and sleep disruption, making everyday tasks like going to work or school feel unsafe.
• Self-doubt and confusion, especially when the stalker is — or was — a partner who gaslights, denies wrongdoing or blames the victim for “misunderstanding.”
• Depression and isolation, as victims cut back on social interaction to avoid potential encounters or because they no longer trust their judgment.
Experts note that stalking carries significant mental health consequences, including post-traumatic stress symptoms, anxiety disorders and lasting emotional harm.
For many victims — especially those stalked by a partner or ex-partner — stalking is part of a broader pattern of control and abuse. In these contexts, stalking can:
• Serve as punishment after a breakup, a way to regain power or force communication.
• Be accompanied by physical or sexual violence, with stalking often co-occurring alongside other forms of domestic violence.
• Precede sexual assault or escalation to lethal violence, making it one of the strongest predictors of intimate partner homicide.
Because stalking behaviors often escalate over time — from seemingly innocuous gestures to intimidation or threats — recognizing the pattern early can be lifesaving. Healthy relationships are built on trust and consent, not monitoring, pressure or fear.
If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking, take unwanted contact seriously — patterns matter. Document all incidents — texts, calls, sightings. Reach out for support. Call Rise Above Violence at (970) 264-9075 to discuss your concerns and your options for increasing your safety or that of someone you know.
Stalking isn’t a misunderstanding or “love gone wrong.” It’s a pattern of behavior that violates personal boundaries and can have lasting impacts on physical, emotional and psychological well-being. Understanding what it looks and feels like is a crucial step toward prevention and support.
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