The beauty of Pagosa Springs is that men can be real men and not apologize. They don’t have to defend themselves for how God made them. Outside Pagosa’s borders, voices question the toxic man. Heavens, a man is a man. Would we want someone different?
When angry suburban women complain about toxic men, I wonder if they have ever lived in the mountains, where survival is on a man’s mind — hauling water, plowing snow, protecting and providing for his family. At the end of a man’s day, his body is broken by hard work, but his spirit remains who he is. There’s safety and comfort in him.
Have these women ever been chilled to their bones by a cold winter morning, ice in the commode, frozen pipes and the battery in their car dead? Women, put down your stones. You’re not to subdue them, control them, but allow them to love you. Without asking, real men will start up your car, cut wood, load it into the bin and start a fire to keep you warm. When you’re in trouble, they will stop by the side of the road to help you.
A man can be tough as nails on the outside, but like a marshmallow melting over an open fire when it comes to treating his woman with love and the kindest respect.
It is a marvel, “The way of an eagle in the air, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship in the midst of the sea, and the way of a man with a maiden” (Proverbs 30:19, NKJV).
I never convinced Al to take his shoes off at the door. I tried. It doesn’t matter. He has trudged through the snow at 10 below to fix the well pump, and pull vehicles out of the snow while I was inside warming myself. He is a true servant for his family.
These tough guys like loud noises — NASCAR racing, snowmobiles, ATVs and big machinery. The louder the noise, the better.
And if this is toxic, this is what men do. Yes, there is a slew of trophy animal heads on the walls that Al killed, each with their own story. It’s part of living in Pagosa.
Al watches recorded shows of “Mountain Men.” They are daily rituals for Al as he watches Tom Oar, a former rodeo cowboy who has lived in the Yaak Valley of northwest Montana for 50 years. Tom made his living by trapping and tanning hides, while Nancy created primitive crafts from nature. This television show brings back to Al who he was in his younger day. It’s the highlight of his day.
Al talks about Tom and Nancy Oar from “Mountain Men” as if they were sitting at our breakfast table. A bear broke into Tom’s work shed and tore it up. He carved out a canoe from a fallen tree trunk and made a boat out of animal skins. Neither leak. Tom’s getting older and now teaching his skills to young men. These are the things on Al’s mind.
I live among men, real men. Our son came home from the Philippines to take care of his daddy. Every morning he loads wood into the fireplace, starts a fire for Al and me. He prepares and serves us breakfast and makes sure we are OK for the day.
At night when I’m getting my Sweet Al ready for bed, he will say, “I’ll wait for Stephen.” When our son puts him to bed, hooks up his oxygen, applies his medicine, with a sweet gesture, he smooths back his hair and kisses him goodnight. It is the gentlest moment of the day.
My grandsons were raised on Pagosa’s football field and are as tough as a boot. Creede, many times when I couldn’t get from the wheelchair to the bed, he’d pick me up in his arms and carry me to bed, tucked me in, kissed me goodnight, and said, “I love you, Grandma.” My other grandson, Slade, calls just to say hi, comes by to take care of my car — with oil changes, rotating the tires and replacing windshield wipers.
My son-in-law has come to our rescue so many times I can’t count them. When our furnace went out, because the gas company overlooked our regular fill up, he made sure we stayed warm. He’s worked on every appliance in our home and has taken care of us. A real man has a servant’s heart.
Yes, I live among real men.
Final brushstroke: God made man in His image, to be a provider, protector and servant. I am thankful for the men in my life. I marvel at how God has made them. No complaints here.
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