We are living it, in the newspaper

My sweet Al said, “Sit down and watch Duck Dynasty with me.”

I asked, “Why? I’m living Duck Dynasty in my own home.”

Our family came home for the holidays. We always expect crazy things to happen, and this year was no exception. With the weather hitting -20 degrees, we woke up to frozen pipes with no water.

We all said, “Of course, it always happens.”

The phone was dead for five days. We waited for the telephone company to fix it. Come to find out, the phone had been unplugged from the wall. No one bothered to check it out.

Snow came on Christmas Eve. We decided since we had 13 people in the house, not to go to the church service. We would have our own services. It took a mastermind to quiet the group down. We decided we needed a leader to take authority over the evening. That seemed to work. We read the Christmas story. I wanted to reflect on it. My daughter said I was getting too deep, and it was time to move on to more memorable moments. I guess Baby Jesus will understand.

Each shared their most special Christmas. I was amazed how many things the kids remembered from over the years and how important they had become. We were in the midst of establishing traditions and making memories, whether we thought we were or not.

We have one grandson who is a member of the wrestling team. His coach reminded him to stay in shape over the holidays. He was constantly picking up the women in the family, throwing them over his shoulder, running with them down the hall and throwing them on the bed. The women in our family are not dainty little things. I believe he had a good workout; the coach would be proud. Right now, he stands at 11 wins, 1 loss. We are hoping for state; we’ve got a good shot.

Our son lit the Wolf Stove. There was a big bang of gas and fire.

He said, “It’s a good thing I shave my head.”

I stared at him with his singed eyebrows and blackened face. I rolled my eyes and said, “You’re right.”

I told Allison, one of our daughters, “That stove never worked right, but I thought I had to own a Wolf Stove because David’s fourth wife, Dana, had one. We paid a fortune for it. I’d never do that again.”

She said, “Dana has moved on and out of the family; and you still have your Wolf Stove.”

I said, “You’re right. I guess you can get rid of a husband, but you’ll live with a stove or old sofa for the rest of your life.”

Then, there is our youngest daughter, who loves to bake. Before the holidays, she baked 40 loaves of different kinds of bread. Each time she baked, she gave My Sweet Al and me one loaf. We asked for more, but she said they were for the family during the holidays. She hid them in the freezer.

During the holidays, every morning, she had loaves of banana nut, cranberry, lemon poppy seed, and Chocolate zucchini with nuts laid out for the family. Our oldest daughter said she could hardly wait every morning to see what the Bread Fairy was going to bring.

We were never disappointed.

Every member of the family brings something different to the mix. We have all learned to endure, enjoy and laugh at each other. It seems to work for us.

For New Year’s Eve, we pulled out all the old family movies. We laughed at all the fun we have had over the years, with skits and games, and taking the canoe down the river. It brought back many wonderful memories. As crazy as our family is, we are still family and we wouldn’t change anything.

Everyone has left and it’s back to Al and I. I’ve been shoveling out and cleaning up the mess. It’s time to take down the Christmas decorations, and get back to normal. Al has taken back the remote and his brown chair. I’ve taken back my computer and kitchen.

It sure is quiet around here.

Final brushstroke: Duck Dynasty has nothing on us. They are living their reality on television, and we are living our reality in the newspaper. All is good.

Artist’s quote

“As for worrying about what other people might think — forget it. They aren’t concerned about you. They’re too busy worrying about what you and other people think of them.”- Michaelle Boeuf, speaker and author

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This story was posted on February 21, 2013.