Thursday, April 10, 2008
Non-violent communication with the Unitarians
On Sunday, April 13, the Pagosah Unitarian Universalist Fellowship service will consider the techniques and benefits of non-violent communication, presented by Ahuva Novak, former lawyer for the San Francisco public defenders office.
In her presentation she asks, “Have you ever had the feeling that your spouse, parents, children, co-workers, or boss are not actually listening to what you say, or responding to your requests? What is getting in the way of creating effective communication?”
Ms. Novak tells how Marshall Rosenberg, a young veteran of the bloody Detroit race riots, got to wondering what gets into people that encourages them to engage in violence against one another because of things like skin color, religion, or gender. Yet, because, he also knew so many caring, compassionate people, he concluded violence wasn’t really our true nature.
He went on to get a doctorate in clinical psychology, write several books, and about 35 years ago began the work and established the center for what is called non-violent communication, a technique that assures everyone in a conversation feels that his or her concerns matter and are being addressed.
Non-violent communication offers practical skills for creating this kind of connection between compassionate giving and receiving: 1) differentiating observation from evaluation; 2) differentiating feeling from thinking; 3) connecting with universal human needs and values; and 4) clearly indicating desired outcomes.
Ahuva Novak is a member of the San Francisco Bar Association, on inactive status. Currently, she is a candidate for national certification as a non-violent communication trainer. In addition to working part time for The Town of Pagosa Springs Park and Recreation Department, Ms. Novak offers non-violent communication practice groups and will begin sessions in May. Her personal interests include yoga, raw food, and outdoor activities. For more information, call 731-1404.
In the children’s program, the rain stick, an ancient instrument from West Africa, will be the focus of our story. We will create our own rain sticks and share in making music together.
The service begins at 10:30 a.m. in the Pagosah Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Hall, Unit B-15, Greenbrier Plaza. Turn east on Greenbrier Drive off of North Pagosa by the fire station, then left into the back parking lot and look for the big sign. All are welcome.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Secrets from the children’s Passover table
By Judith S. Esterly
Special to The PREVIEW
One of the reasons Passover has so many fond memories for Jewish children is the strange goings on at the children’s table at Passover.
The Passover Seder is the order of prayers and retelling of the “Exodus” — Moses leading the children of Israel out of bondage from the land of Egypt. The prayer book used is the Hagadah. The Seder is generally held around a dinner table and includes ritual foods and wine and then a large feast.
Of course, the children were expected to behave. However, when one seats seven to 10 children at the same table without an adult present, using the term “good behavior” in the same sentence gives definition to the word oxymoron.
In most families everyone took turns reading a paragraph from the Hagadah until the book was finished. We children were expected to participate and we did our best with occasional help from the adults. I mean, what 6-year-old can pronounce “Rabbi Gamaliel?”
The following are just a few anecdotes from my family’s children’s table from Seders of by gone days.
My cousin Diane was the best of the girl readers, which was infuriating because she was the youngest. But we all took our turns reading, as did our children when they were old enough. And each year, the adults nodded in approval as they heard us (and later we heard our children) read aloud and improved from year to year.
Then there was the time when my two sons and two nephews sat at my father’s Seder table. It was a huge table that could seat 30-plus people at a special room at the country club. But sitting with adults did not seem to deter kids being kids. The boys included two 12-year-olds, an 11-year-old and a 9-year-old. My father enjoyed changing Hagadahs and that year the new one included a paragraph with the word “breast” in it. Well, my nephew, oldest of the crew came to THE WORD and got the giggles. My father then called on my oldest son old to again read the sentence and when he came to THE WORD he couldn’t get it out without laughing. (Obviously, they were not mature 12-year-olds.) My 11-year-old nephew was called on and admonished to “behave.” And, of course, he promptly broke up. Finally my younger son, Doug, age 9, a tough little kid with a penchant for stubbornness, sailed through the paragraph including THE WORD without even a smirk on his face. Needless to say, his grandfather, quite pleased with at least one of his grandsons, forked over $10 to Doug as a reward for gravitas and sheer guts.
Wine is a big part of the Passover service. If you have ever tasted Kosher wine, you will note it is not among the finest of vintages. It’s thick and sweet. But for little kids, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Since drinking four glasses of wine is part of the ceremony, the children are not expected to drink all of them, but only sip. In our family, there was no grape juice for little kids. I think the underlying philosophy was that once kids were forced to drink this vile liquid, they would not be inclined to want to drink too much of any kind alcohol. Of course, little Jewish boys who are ritually circumcised are given this wine in a nipple stuffed with cotton during the circumcision procedure. It is my belief that the inherent distaste for the beverage dates back to their eighth day on Earth and the circumcision ritual. Mine is a non-scientific study, of course.
I never drank much of the wine. However, when I was 16, there were two men who were placed at the children’s end of the table. They were strangers in town. But I knew them both from afar. I do not recall the one man’s name, but the other was the infamous (from my point of view) National Basketball Association referee, Mendy Rudolph. St. Louis took pride in the mid 1950’s in the St. Louis Hawks NBA basketball team. My brothers were gone from home by then. I loved basketball, my mother could care less so, I was my father’s companion at the home games. I adored my team and went ballistic when I saw my champions having fouls called on them fouls which I knew were unjust, unfair, and wrong. We sat third row center, so I could see the mistakes the “refs” continually made. I would shout even after my voice was hoarse with great vigor at the referees who made these unconscionable errors. It was the only time while I was growing up that I didn’t hear the deep sound of my father’s voice espousing his favorite, and all too often used reprimand, “Young lady, behave yourself!”
And there sitting opposite me at my grandparents’ Passover table sat the most egregious of those referees, Mendy Rudolph, and his buddy who was equally blind when it came to refereeing my team.
Of course, he and the other referee were in town for a series of games, both were Jewish and it is Jewish custom for all strangers to be invited to the Seder. My father had invited them for Passover. It never occurred to me how he knew them, there were always last minute strangers at the Passover table. In retrospect, I have no doubt he not only seated these two evil denizens of “refereedom” across from me on purpose, but probably squealed and told them I was their most vocal enemy. They were charming men who thoughtfully kept refilling my wine glass and those of my two female cousins, who were around my age, throughout the Seder. Even an unspoken challenge could not be unmet! So I drank all the required four glasses of wine, and then some, where previously I never had. In today’s correct world, the pouring of wine even for religious reasons in some quarters for minors would be considered unacceptable. However, it was acceptable back then. The wine glass was large and so was the headache I had the next day. My father and I never spoke about his setting me up. But, I never really enjoyed shouting at the referees as much after that evening.
One year at a Seder at my parents apartment, there were seven of us at the children’s table. Large candelabras decorated both grown up’s table and ours. That year there were not enough Hagadahs to go around. So we kids had to share. The oldest male grandchild was my brother Donny, he was 14 at the time. And although we had an older cousin Barbara, Donny was the firstborn male and therefore, the golden child. He was always in charge of his two siblings as well as all the cousins when we met together. Donny had read and then passed his Hagadah to our cousin Sheryn who sat opposite him at the table. Unfortunately, he managed to pass the booklet directly through the candelabra and the Hagadah caught on fire. The rest of us were not about to be blamed for nearly burning down the building, so we quietly and with great aplomb and sophistication stifled our laughter and put out the fire. Needless to say, we younger kids were delighted to see how the mighty had fallen. But none of us squealed on him and it appeared that the adults hadn’t seen the incident. I recently recounted the story to my ninety-one year old Aunt who never heard the story (the adults were often oblivious to what we did at our table) but proclaimed that we kids were always bad and that’s why we were segregated during the Seders (and at all family parties for that matter).
Today, my children, who are much looser parents than their grandparents and parents were, try to make the holiday more interesting and raucous than the Seders they had growing up. When it comes to the recounting of the 10 plagues visited on the Egyptians, my daughter, Rachel hands out bags filled with colorful plagues made of plastic or confetti like colored paper to each child. The plagues are thrown about as they are mentioned during the Seder. My oldest son, Mike, rewrote his own Hagadah several times using themes such as Star Wars and Harry Potter as their basis. I’ve learned not to question too closely. He tells me it is time to rewrite another one. My younger son Doug is still blessed with gravitas so does not participate in such behavior. However, he and his family attend Seder dinners at his in-law’s home where such behavior is frowned upon (or not recognized).
Pagosa’s own Congregation Kadima Yisrael held its first Seder last year. And some of the children had never participated in one. When it came time to find the hidden matza to be stolen, then ransomed after dinner before the last part of the services could begin, none of them could find it. It was hidden under a napkin in plain sight on the end of the table. Finally, the adults had to hint and eventually pointed out to the youngest where it was. Whoever produced that matza is, in most families and at our congregational Seder, given a monetary reward/bribe for turning over the special matza. I have no doubt the children will be better prepared for the hidden matza this year and will not need the adults to help them find it.
My family is not unique. Most of us who grew up attending large family Seders will have a smile on our faces when someone asks about the Seders we went to as kids.
After all, we were just kids.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Harris appointed minister of new spiritual community
Rev. George Harris, a featured speaker during the last few months at the Four Corners Center for Spiritual Living, was recently appointed Minister of the Namaste Center of Spiritual Oneness. The Namaste Center was formed as a new spiritual community by a core group of members from the Four Corners Center.
On Sunday, April 13, Harris will lead the congregation in a blessing ceremony for the Namaste Center. He will also present a spiritual message entitled, “New Beginnings.” The service begins at 11 a.m. The Center is located in Bayfield at 97 North St. (corner of North and Pine streets on the south side of U.S. 160). A potluck luncheon will follow immediately after the service.
Rev. George Harris is a minister of metaphysics and a minister of spiritual peacemaking. He holds a BA in metaphysics and holistic health and wellness counseling. He is a metaphysical practitioner as well as a spiritual healing and pastoral psychology practitioner. He owns and facilitates the work of the Family Living System in Albuquerque.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Meintjes speak in Pagosa Springs at Charis Bible Fellowship
Special to The PREVIEW
Arthur and Cathy Meintjes from Middelburg, Mpumalanga, South Africa, will provide a series of lectures in Pagosa Springs beginning Sunday, April 13 with a service at 10 a.m.
The Meintjes’ are the founders of Kingdom of Life Ministries International. Their mission is to see leaders in all spheres come to an intimate and personal relationship with God. Arthur’s insight into God’s word and his ability to share this understanding and experience of God’s love has touched many lives around the world.
A service will be held Sunday April 13, at 10 a.m.. Teaching sessions will be held April 13 through 16 at 7 p.m.
All meetings will be held at Charis Bible Fellowship which meets at Pagosa Springs Education Center, 81 Greenbrier Drive, Unit D, Pagosa Springs, CO 81147.
For more information, contact Pastor Janet Maley at 264-2428, home/office or 946-0346, cell.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Photo courtesy Jarrell and Natalie Tyson
Jarrell and Natalie Tyson, center front, are seen here with a group of friends and acquaintances during a trip to Russia as part of a missionary team.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Pagosans share Gospel in Russia
Staff Writer
One of the couples involved in the ministry at Community United Methodist Church shares memories of Russia regularly during the Sunday School hour each Sunday.
Jarrell and Natalie Tyson, residents of Pagosa Springs since 2001, served earlier as a missionary team to Russia, where they helped create new Methodist churches from Moscow to Siberia. Over a hundred new churches were started during the seven years while they were in the Soviet Union.
While in the Soviet Union, they tried to help Russians understand Americans better. Since returning to the U.S., they have tried to help Americans understand Russians better.
They went as missionaries to Russia on the recommendation of the Methodist Bishop Dan Soloman of Oklahoma, where they were doing ministerial work.
The Methodist Church in Russia existed as far back as the 19th century, but it was not large. When the Tysons started in Russia there were less than 12 Methodist churches. By the time they left Russia, there were more than 120 Methodist churches scattered across the Soviet Union, with 20 in Moscow. Churches in America helped to sponsor churches in Russia. The ministries have continued there, even though the Tysons left that part of the world.
“The people in Russia are pro-American,” said Natalie. “It is the governments and the Orthodox Church who are not friendly.”
“Most of the Russian Methodist Churches lack church buildings. Believers meet in homes,” she said.
The overall ministry is known as the Russia United Methodist Church. An adult Sunday School class at Community United Methodist Church currently contributes dollars to a Russian church.
“Life is difficult in Russia,” said Jarrell. “Most people don’t have a car, but public transportation is very good. Sometimes it is difficult to find some foods. On occasion stores lacked food on the shelves. A fulltime pastor in Russia is paid about $3,600 a year.”
Many of the churches were closed until 1991 under the Communist regime.
Worship in the Russian Methodist churches is not as formal as in American Methodist churches. There is a Methodist seminary to train pastors in Russia.
Many Russians were drawn to the Methodists by a desire for knowledge. “They have learned a lot by Methodists in prayer services. Russian women like the feelings that women are accepted as ministers by Methodists,” said Natalie.
Besides the distribution of shoes for orphans, the Methodists distribute the official Russian language Bible. There is a Russian Bible Society.
“People need a source of hope and the Russians saw that Christians have a source of hope,” said Jarrell.
Jarrell, assistant pastor at Community United Methodist Church, says there is some Christian cooperation between Christians in Russia and the U.S. Some Russians will attend the Methodist General Conference in Fort Worth, Texas later this month. They may even meet the Rev. Don Ford, pastor at Community United Methodist Church, who is speaking at the conference.
Jarrell estimates that no more than 4 percent of Russians are members of the Orthodox Church, the state church of Russia. Some public officials are related to the Orthodox Church and some Communists have become Christians in some parts of Russia.
Natalie emphasized, “We did not demean the Orthodox Church. It helped us that Methodism existed in Russia in the late 19th century.”
Jarrell said that during preaching, “I had to use an interpreter because I didn’t know the Russian language that well.”
Natalie noted that the choirs in Orthodox churches are, in fact, paid, so they are professionals.
The Tysons tried to adjust to the culture while they were in Russia. “We did not try to make them Americans,” said Natalie.
|
