My drive has gone into park

By Jan Davis
Special to The PREVIEW

I find myself in park without purpose or direction. The things I used to love have become burdensome. I push myself out of bed each morning determined today will be different, but it isn’t. I start a project and tire before I finish. A break comes early and I find myself lounging on the deck with a cool beverage in my hand. If I make it till noon, a welcomed nap will follow. Maybe then I’ll have the energy to finish that project. Sometimes I do, but most often I don’t. As evening approaches, I find myself looking forward to the recliner and I park myself in front of the television. I have sputtered to a stop — my fuel gauge registers empty.

Life took over this year as I helped maneuver our daughter through a tumultuous divorce. I encouraged our son as he moved his family to another state to follow God’s call on his life. I held my brother’s hand as he took his final journey on this road of life.

I no longer spent quiet times with God or took long walks to marvel at His creation and refuel my own tank. For a time, it worked. But with my fuel tank drained, I ran out of gas and coasted into park.

I’ve been here before. I know what to do. My parked time becomes my time with God. He refuels me through prayer and His Word. I rest in his presence. He fills me with His love, joy and peace.

Time with Him gives me a fresh perspective. I’ve learned it’s OK to be a passenger. I don’t always have to be the one behind the wheel. My daughter is carving out her own future. My son is settled in and making memories as they explore their new city. My brother has reached his final destination and now resides in heaven.

But more important, I can’t be a driver without Christ by my side. He sits next to me in the front seat. Without His directions I would be lost. Together we maneuver around the sharp and dangerous curves of life. With the foot off the pedal, I allow the tailwinds of the Holy Spirit to push me forward. The rest areas become a blur in the rearview mirror as I keep my eyes on the destination. Nothing else matters.

It’s up to me to determine which road I will travel.

Because of Jesus, I choose the road that leads to life in Him.

“Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” — Matthew 7:14 (KJV).

I love you, but Jesus loves you more.

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This story was posted on September 29, 2016.