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Be an artist, be a teacher, eat a wolf

Be an artist, be a teacher, eat a wolf

“Let’s go to the writers’ conference in March. It’s being held in Seattle. We’ve never been to Seattle.” “Huh?” “You know, the writers’ conference: we went last year, in Boston.…

Get with it: consume, be happy

A friend is visiting, and he is a very smart person. He forgets, however, I am an idiot, neglects the fact I can’t concentrate on anything for more than 30…

When Bitsy whines, play it cool

I see it as a public service. My annual “Don’t be a mooncalf” editorial, directed to parents of school-age children and printed prior to the start of the new school…

Come on … they’re not that blue

I’m loathe to admit it, but I actually like a couple of vegetarians. One of them is what those in the know call “ovo-lacto,” (don’t worry, the first time I…

Of vacuums and pain, blood sausage and Piero

I have a headache. An abstract headache. A vacuum in my head causes the pain. The vacuum replaces the ideas and standards sucked out during a visit to an art…

German pants, bulldogs and Listerine

I’m flipping from one cable channel to another. I’ve kicked back in the lounger, sipping a refreshing beverage, and I am cruising for cheap entertainment. My favorite kind. I flash…

Here’s an idea for your next holiday treat

Six things I’d rather not do. 1. Have my gums scraped. 2. Stumble into a nest of Brown Recluse spiders. 3. Eat a razor blade. 4. Spend a week in…

Jackson Pollock meets the photo-realists

I like to watch other people cook. It’s a treat to observe a skilled cook, amateur or professional, beat a path through the kitchen. There is something balletic about it,…

Pulling the foible wagon

I live in Siberia with a View, a small community nestled a few miles from the Continental Divide, comfy in the embrace of the San Juan Mountains. This is a…

With ‘friends’ like these …

Want a clear view of the state of the human species in this digital age? Go to Facebook. Then, scurry to the garage, start the car and put your mouth…

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