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Makin’ a move in the Monkey House

I’m done. No more columns. No more editorials. No more stress sweat on Sunday night, with no words of worth on a page and time growing short. Forget words of…

Beware the mirror, and the mirror effect

Beware the mirror. Don’t panic, there’s no symbolic meaning here; you don’t need to do any intellectual heavy lifting. I’m referring to real mirrors, regular mirrors, those reflective things you…

The Flutaphone Dialectic: a remedy

Ever have one of those moments when, brain train derailed by an unexpected obstacle, you stumble on a mnemonic connection that illuminates something about the way you are put together,…

I Promyse, it’s Truli a Marvelous thing

“What are you going to name him?” “You’ll have to wait until he’s born. I’m not revealing anything until then.” My youngest daughter, Ivy, the Queen of Suspense, is about…

Indulge … and get rid of the goofy hat

Leftovers. The place: the produce section at our supermarket here in Siberia With a View.. I am examining an eggplant, when she appears next to me. She’s wearing a plaid…

Be an artist, be a teacher, eat a wolf

Be an artist, be a teacher, eat a wolf

“Let’s go to the writers’ conference in March. It’s being held in Seattle. We’ve never been to Seattle.” “Huh?” “You know, the writers’ conference: we went last year, in Boston.…

Get with it: consume, be happy

A friend is visiting, and he is a very smart person. He forgets, however, I am an idiot, neglects the fact I can’t concentrate on anything for more than 30…

When Bitsy whines, play it cool

I see it as a public service. My annual “Don’t be a mooncalf” editorial, directed to parents of school-age children and printed prior to the start of the new school…

Of vacuums and pain, blood sausage and Piero

I have a headache. An abstract headache. A vacuum in my head causes the pain. The vacuum replaces the ideas and standards sucked out during a visit to an art…

German pants, bulldogs and Listerine

I’m flipping from one cable channel to another. I’ve kicked back in the lounger, sipping a refreshing beverage, and I am cruising for cheap entertainment. My favorite kind. I flash…

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