Our family was having Sunday dinner, laughing and talking about life and I brought up the price of butter. I said, “Instead of your Uncle buying your Dad, Rogaine, better he buy him a pound of butter.”
They all laughed and said, “You’ve got to write an article on this one.”
“Well, it is a little close to home, twist my arm a little. Here goes!”
Al’s older brother is a curious kind of fellow. He’s got a Midas touch. Whatever he touches turns to gold. He knows how to make money; but for his married life, he strikes out big every time with alimony and attorneys.
It’s probably the women he chooses. He won’t date anyone over thirty years of age. Mind you, he’s turning seventy-seven, but the women still flock to him. He puts on his mojo, and the women hand him their key. It is a sight to be seen. He has refused to get old.
On the other hand, Al loves his family, very much married and looks married. You do know how married looks? It says, I’m married and I can have that extra buttered bread and gravy, I’m OK with home haircuts, and I’m carrying my wife’s purse because it is too heavy for her.
Al understands he is getting older and he is okay with it. He has moved into his older years with grace and richness. Not only that, he has ME, his faithful wife who reminds him, he is loved by writing articles about him.
One thing David has is his faithful and loving brother, Al. He depends on Al for everything and Al has been and will be loyal to him to the end and will never disappoint his brother if he can help it.
Al’s older brother still sports a gorgeous full head of hair and believes Al should to. Trouble is, poor Al doesn’t. So David believes that Al should grow hair on his head and so every time he goes to Costco, he buys Al another bottle of Rogaine. Because Al doesn’t want to disappoint his brother, he faithfully uses it.
Every night, Al sprays this whipping cream substance on top of his head. He stands there with a nest of whipping cream atop his head and every morning he checks to see if he has grown another hair. He started with three hairs on top of his head, he insists he now has five and I think he is stretching it. For me, I’m not counting. I see his heart and he is beautiful.
So back to the family dinner! I’m not so loyal as to Al growing hair, I don’t care. The enormous supply of bottles of Rogaine is building up on the shelf. Al can’t use them fast enough. I’d like to trade them in and get some money back. I see serious cash here. I’m licking my chops and rubbing my hands together and I see dollar signs. I think we should trade them in and get the money back.
Al says, “No. My brother bought these and I have to use them.”
I say, “Al, it isn’t going to happen. Forget it. You haven’t grown one hair since you started using this stuff.”
Our son-in-law says to Al, “Dad, you should shave your head, it is the style and you would look twenty years younger.”
I said, “I love your Dad just the way he is. I don’t care if he has three or five hairs. He’s seventy four years old and its okay. He’s not trying to pick up a thirty year old. Anyway, I don’t think he is.”
So the family continues to joke and Al still is trying to grow hair for his brother. So what is the moral to this story? I don’t think there is one. Maybe it is this! Some things need to change and other things can’t change and some people don’t have enough sense to know the difference.
Well, the conversation went from funny to funnier and one day I must share more with you. Some things are too funny to keep under wrap. Maybe it is one of those family jokes that should have stayed in the family. And maybe, if I don’t change my ways, growing hair will be important to Al, he might start looking around. The price of butter won’t make any difference and he will have an ample supply of Rogaine.
Final brushstroke: Some things will never change and it just doesn’t make any difference. And some things change whether we like it or not. The Rogaine supply is growing and Al’s hair isn’t. I’m still contemplating serious cash.
“Maturity begins when we’re content to feel we’re right about something, without feeling the necessity to prove someone else is wrong.” — Sydney J. Harris, columnist.
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